When you meet someone, it is so easy to see how wonderful they are and see the good in them, which is a wonderful thing. After some time, ‘stuff’ can come up which can make the other person appear to be less wonderful to you. Think about a partner, colleague or friend. We are led to all relationships and all people for a purpose, they are there to help us grow. We are led to the right people who will show us where we were wounded in the past, they will show us what our triggers are and what upsets us. The easy thing to do here is to run away here.
Sometimes we feel that in order for a relationship to work, the other person would need to behave in a particular way for us to be happy. “When they stop being so <fill in the blank>, I will be more loving towards them” or “When they stop being so <fill in the blank>, I will be happier.” However we could also look at this another way. We could use the relationship to heal us and make us a better person.
So if a relationship of mine shows up a lack of love for myself, I will want to run far away and find someone else who doesn’t bring that issue up. However, most probably, I will go out and find this other person who will show up this issue in me again, until I realise the issue is within me and I work to fix it. The problem isn’t what the other person is doing that causes my lack of love for myself to re appear. It is how I react and how I behave.
You are led to a person who triggers your childhood wound. To what you think you didn’t receive as a child. Such as Daddy didn’t do this or Mrs Smith from High School didn’t do that. So the ego will focus on the pain and only see what you were not given previously. It tells you that this other person must not be right for you, else you would not be feeling unworthy again.
However, the right use of your relationship is for it to be used to heal the childhood wound, to heal you. That way you can become the best version of yourself and give your best to the other person.
In relationships, especially intimate ones, your childhood wounds rub up against each other which causes friction. You can feel that you are not ‘right ‘ for each other. But this is perfect. When we heal, we heal through a life detox. Things, issues and ‘stuff’ comes up to be released. A relationship is for your maximum soul growth.