What Happened When They Love You

The magic words most ladies want to hear, I love you, you know I love you, and Girl I love you. Well those words may land in your heart or in your stomach depending upon who is saying this and where the relationship has gone are is going. I recall hearing I love you from my now ex-husband as he would leave to go to the Crack house, I would hear I love you as I had to hide my keys in my shoe boxes because I knew he would not look there and if he got the keys I would not be able to get to work.

I heard I love you when I went to the mail box and saw a letter from the courts saying he needed to pay child support for the first child he had while we was married. And yes I said the first child there were more L. I heard I love you as I would remind him if he loved us (our 3 kids and I) he would stop doing those things that made us sad, worried and disappointed.

So l had to start asking him are you really in love?, because love should not treat you like this the Bible says that love is patient and love is kind, therefore no you don’t love this Girl/Woman, Daughter, Wife, and Mother.

I knew with all that is in me, that I was in Love with me and because I love me, I had to leave the person who said they loved me for over 18 years of marriage and begin the healing and loving myself process. I had to love my 3 beautiful children enough to remove them from an unhealthy and dysfunctional situation. I remember asking myself, what are you showing/ teaching your daughters. What are you teaching your son? I know that children look at what you do not just what you say. They were my why for improving our situation.

I am sharing this so you can love yourself enough to leave, start over or move on if you experience abuse, emotional or physical. You may be reading this and thinking wow it is easier said than done. And I will agree it took me years to leave, I lacked confidence, self-esteem and the belief that I could make it. I had to reach out for help from, family, friends and clergy. I prayed, I cried and I used positive self-talk through affirmations to give me the strength, courage and stamina to make it happen. It was not easy but so necessary to heal and move forward. I adopted a new Love code and I share it with you below.

L.O.V.E can mean Loving Over Various Errors or Living Over Victoriously Every day, I chose the latter and I am taking my Pearls back!


All About Simplicity Love

Love is the only note that will hang in eternity after all the songs have been sung. It is a fruit that yields a gentle crop. It is a force that acts and moves with breathtaking power.

We cannot change the past. We cannot know the future. Sometimes we cannot even always fill the minutes with the full distance run. Empires may rise and others will fall. Kingdoms, like chess-games, come and go. Yet even as worlds collide, things spin beyond our ken, love is still ours to give.

It is always our determination to be kind even though another response is within reach. It is a decision we make over and over, moment to moment, as we move through the light and shadows of each sunset and dawn.

Love. Simple love. That alone is the treasure that lies within each heart: the power to look past differences, to help instead of harm. To accept, to comfort and to bless. To forgive and hold out compassion even in the face of evil.

People can break your heart, but they can never conquer you if you refuse to hate. They can take away all that you have, but never who you are. Only you have the power to choose to walk a path of peace. Only you can say what and who can live inside your heart and head.

In every moment, in every exhale of your breath, you have the unchanging choice of how you will respond and the meaning you will assign to every turn of the page of your life.

That does not mean that you do not honor your own needs. It does not, for instance, mean that you allow yourself to be used or abused. You are not a doormat that others are allowed to wipe their feet on. It does mean though, that although you may choose to walk away, that you do so peacefully, without hate or ill-will.

Understand that love is a planned response. It is not always easy, but good things seldom come without a cost. No matter what other do, no matter how uncertain or unfair, love is ever our sacred task. It is indeed, the only one we have. And endless debt that we pay forward in each moment.

We do not give it because it is easy, or free; we give acceptance and love because it is a gift we give to ourselves. For as we do to others, we do to ourselves. So plant well my friends. Plant peace and watch it bloom in your own field.


Greatest Tips For Your Relationship

Read on to find the key principles you should adhere to and that form the cornerstones of the unwritten dating and relationship bible:

1. Have self value

This is the key point because it’s critical to your success with people. If you take on board nothing else in this article – make a mental note of this point!

Most women fail in love for this reason and this reason alone. Women are pre-socialised doormats. We were raised to believe we need to give in order to get but we have been misguided.

The women who are successful in love honor themselves before a man. Such women stand for something knowing that if they didn’t they would fall for anything.

How do you do this exactly you may ask?

  • You establish boundaries. In your mind you develop a list of behaviours or actions that a man may do which you find unacceptable. If you don’t know off the top of your head yet, remember them when they happen. If you don’t know how to judge whether you are being rational or not, simply trust that if something offends or hurts you – it’s not okay and you need to let him know or cut him off completely.
  • Put yourself first. Never put a man before yourself. Why? Because no one else will look after you when he isn’t there or everyone else has commitments because they are looking after themselves. Secondly, a man will only value you as much as you value yourself. So if you are putting him first you are decreasing your value by default.
  • Don’t try to please him. It sounds counterintuitive to a female, but it screams desperation. When you go the extra distance to show him how much you care it will look just like that to him, that you are trying to hard.
  • Girlfriend – get a life. There is nothing sexier than a woman who has her own life, goals – something going for herself. A man wants to be a part of your world if it is going on. Think about it, that is exactly why you want to be a part of a guy’s life, because it’s exciting and he has something going for himself.
  • Express yourself. Just like men like a woman who is playful or a woman who smiles and melts his heart, they also love a woman who expresses herself openly through her gestures. It shows her self-belief and value as person.

All About Random Act of Kindness

A random act of kindness has these three features: it’s to be done now, for no reason, and for no credit.

Jesus is the reason for the season,
Kindness works in every season and region,
Do Random Acts for no reason,
Do your kindness in secret.

God gave us his Son – the grace of which implies such an act of kindness as to resemble what we, from our human viewpoint, could only do as a random act.

For us to replicate the immensity of God’s act of kindness we need it to be random, such that our partialities and prejudices don’t get in the way.

This is understood three ways:

Firstly, we typically hang back on doing kindness. God never did. We find every excuse in the book, at times, to resist giving a kindness. Yet we can all recall a time when we did a good thing without delay, reason or credit and we were incredibly blessed as a result.

To give now is to give in obedience to the Holy Spirit.

Secondly, we do kindnesses, but we do them for a reason, which usually involves a favour returned. How many times have we given something to someone, or done something nice, thinking even subconsciously, “there’s a favour owed now”? This is particularly the case if we find it easy to give, yet not so easy to receive. Whether the favour is returned or not, as human beings we cannot help think what might follow. To give with no reason alludes to no human (corrupt) intention. To give with no reason means we give with our right hand in such a way as to not let the left hand know what we’re doing. In other words, to give without reason attempts a purely spiritual endeavour.

So, to give, as prompted by the Spirit,
is to give now, with no reason.

Thirdly, we tend to do our kindness for our credit. Good things done usually have about them recognition, which esteems to us, value. We’re valued and we feel valuable. Yet, do we trust in the Lord enough to do our good deed with no need of reward? If we did, we’d find ourselves very comfortably sat inside the intent of Jesus’ Sermon in Matthew 6. And that ought to always be our goal.

A perfect random act of kindness is done now, for no reason, for no credit.

Each of these three components removes three barriers as we take our humanness out of the equation of love. This understands that love comes from God in us, and not inherently from us within ourselves.